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therapist's office

from regeneration music by grand cross

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about

(9/21/2015)

lyrics

i was on my way to the new therapist’s office
to fill out paperwork for an hour and a half.
i saw someone i used to know
passing by on a bike. he averted his gaze.

my ankle feels broken but i know it’s not.
i’ll keep walking.
there’s a cluster of three painful sores searing my inner thigh
when i take a step.
i’ll keep walking.
every couple blocks i wanna drop to the sidewalk and sob.
i’ll keep walking.

a friend sent a text asking how i’d been.
it was hard to explain.

this is not a body, it’s a burnt-out shell.
i was never ill-intentioned but i lived in Hell.
is this some sort of ascension? i can’t tell.

i have the courage to change what i can’t,
but i’m still working on the serenity to accept what i can’t.
even if i could fix everything, i’d still be damned.

i can’t ask for understanding. i can’t ask for love.
i can’t ask for forgiveness. when push comes to shove,
the jury has spoken.
i’m still broken.

credits

from regeneration music, released November 23, 2016

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grand cross Normal, Illinois

"journal songs"

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