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botany girl / goddess girl

from reverse suicide by grand cross

/

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lyrics

i hold on to your rose,
and i think of you often.
i always hug the thorns tight
until their points soften.
i find a certain tenderness inside the hardest shells.
i find a certain kind of grace inside the hottest hells.

a setting sun feels different on your skin than a rising one.
a setting sun feels different on your skin than a rising one.
leave no lotto ticket unscratched,
leave no egg of kindness unhatched,
a setting sun feels different on your skin than a rising one.

i feel the cosmos brand me with its logo.
i feel her presence throw me out and pull me in like a yo-yo.

oooooooooooooooooooooo

i shake,
but i can’t shake her.
why does she see me as a creature worthy of her mercy?
mercy is a luxury afforded only to the cruel and powerful,
and i promise, i am not powerful.
not yet.

i miss everyone i knew and i hate everyone i know.
proverbial tortoise travels too slow.
i hate me and i hate PTSD,
and how it holds me back from stability.

PTSD!!!!!!!!

on your front porch i was staring at the window.
i could only see my own face and i couldn’t look away.
for once, it didn’t distort, and i was completely overwhelmed.
there’s no conclusion to be made here.
that’s just what i wanted to say.
that’s all i wanted to say.

credits

from reverse suicide, released December 11, 2017

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grand cross Normal, Illinois

"journal songs"

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